A Message from the U.S. Pronoun Defense Department
Remember when the only people who cared about pronouns were English teachers?
Recall the era when the only trouble-making pronoun was “whom”, and it really didn’t make much trouble?
Those days are gone, of course.
PRONOUNS!!! Now the words “he” and “she” are to the media what sex and violence were to the National Enquirer. Everybody’s MAD about PRONOUNS!!! The PRONOUN ISSUE has taken over the whole Western World!
How could such a thing have happened? We all know the answer because knowing it cannot be avoided. The controversy is everywhere and the people causing it will not shut up.
But why?
How did the sane and rational people among us — surely there still are some? — allow pronouns to become a global public issue of supreme importance?
The folks who man/woman/person the U.S. Pronoun Defense Department are self-appointed. They are the non-Leftists who are taking it upon themselves to defend the pronouns of the English language from attack by the Leftists. Linguistic vigilantes, fighting an uphill battle.
So it isn’t just the Leftists who are obsessed with the issue of pronouns. Rightist writers write about it constantly.
Rightists:
“But... but mein pronounzes!!!”
Why does the Right even care?
The Trans “community” is, by most estimates, about .000001% of the U.S. population.
But if they are such a minute few, how did they get the political power to create the Great Pronoun Issue out of thin air, almost overnight? There is an International Pronoun Day, for heaven’s sake, which we must observe on October 17, from now on, we are told.
The answer is easy: The mainstream media. Presumably, only a tiny few in the media are “trans”. But the Leftist media are forever in search of issues that they can use to divide the American people and make new demands for more government intervention in our lives.
But the question is: Why do the rest of us take the bait so readily? Why do we let the media turn Leftist molehills into political Himalayas, over and over and over? (cf. “How Leftists Move Mountains Left”)
Whatever happened to the maxim, "Ignore morons"?
Is there nothing so vapid, inconsequential, and peripheral that the Leftists cannot use it to successfully push the OUTRAGE buttons of the Right? Don’t we realize that when the Left politicizes things they do it on purpose because it is to their advantage (as we discuss in the soon-to-be-published “The Terrible Politicization of Everything”)?
Will the Rightist U.S. Pronoun Defense Department claim that Pronoun Supremacists are discriminating against other parts of speech? What about participles and adjectives? Don’t they have rights too? And if pronouns then why or why not punctuation marks? Why should they be spared, or not? (We may address this issue in the soon-to-be-published “Modest Punctuation Proposal”.)
When we googled for news about 'adverbs' we got 31,000 hits.
When we googled news about “pronouns” we got 1.6 million hits.
And so if---
Hey. Wait a Second...
We take it all back.
When we got to this point in our "research" (by which word we mean "some googling"), and we searched for news about "pronouns", and we read a few pages into the list of hits, and we saw this and we became OUTRAGED. Or at least AFRAID:
The official Leftist News Outlet CBS News is publicly announcing that now real people will really be arrested, charged with a crime, and imprisoned, for failing to call some blue-haired twit "zxhey"?
Yes. That is what they are announcing.
Such discrimination is very much criminalized under Civil Rights laws. The Left are announcing that they will no longer be content to have you banned from social media, your business de-platformed, you fired from your job. They will put you in federal prison. For pronouns.
It isn’t the pink-haired university “Pronoun Police” twittering at you for not calling some man “her”. It’s federal prosecutors and armed federal law officers, and the guards and administrators at federal penitentiaries. Maybe this isn’t news to you, but it was to us. We had not realized how far this had gone, or how far it may go. Because, where’s the limit? Surely the sign reading “INSANITY CITY LIMITS” was passed long ago.
As they have done to so many other things, and however unlikely or even impossible it might have seemed only a few years ago, the Leftists have succeeded in politicizing pronouns. Now they use pronouns for the purpose of dividing us. Of pitting some of us against others in a new way. A thing that is politicized can be used, by people who are good at politics, to gain power, and control. And those people can use that power and control against us. They can even put us in a federal prison.
Now, pronouns are a societal problem. The problem demands certain actions. And we who do not obey the demand and act as we are commanded will be persecuted, prosecuted, and punished using the force of the government, which has a lot of force, and gets more every day.
And the new Pronoun Demand is a demand upon which the Leftists will not compromise. Leftists never compromise, no matter how irrational and extreme their demand is. (See Leftist Untruth #6 Centrism). The only solution to every societal problem that they create is our surrender. And when they win, they then create the next demand.
To Be We or Not to Be Thee
Are we to let Leftists get away with their constant assaults upon what little remains of our (or should we say "zxhour") freedom? Or must we take up arms against a sea of fascistic Leftists and by opposing end them? They seem to be absolutely determined to force that choice upon us.
Grammar Nazi here. I am offended that people speak utter nonsense about pronouns. Ban all pronouns, I say.